The slippery slides of eco tourism

TGL – Being a tourist is a tricky business, especially when you only do it every other weekend. A little out of practice, TGL stepped into the world of ‘eco’ tourism, Vietnam style.

 

Saddled up on the hunt for Ba Vi.

Tourism is a strange beastie. Wherever you go it seems to mean something different. Perhaps it conjures images of a bus crammed to the gunnels with Japanese tourists, who seem to live their holidays with one eye surgically attached to a video camera. Then again, Chinese tours involve a lot of walking, a guy with a flag and bright yellow baseball caps.

 

I’m not sure about you, but I don’t like some guy with a loudhailer telling me where to go. That privilege was all for one certain rotund teacher at my primary school, and even then only on our annual full school sports day.

 

I guess I will never get used to the idea of ‘tourism’ here in Vietnam. As summer winds its way out, leaving us sweltering again in this hottest of months, we saddled up the Minsks and hunted off in the direction of Ba Vi.

 

Ba Vi is a favoured destination at this time of year. A large-ish hill still covered in relatively lush forest, it makes for the perfect du lich (tourist) destination. Actually its been dubbed du lich sinh thai (ecological tourism) if you want to get technical about it, although I was labouring under the impression that eco tourism was about low impact rather than a walk in the woods in your Sunday best.

 

Ba Vi is around 80km from Hanoi, an easy drive that can be taken on in several different ways. Most involve a brief encounter with Son Tay, a sleepy town at best. Exiting Hanoi either via Cau Giay, or by heading west past the new My Dinh National Stadium, a couple of well timed turns will get you to Son Tay.

 

The roads that far are nothing to write home about, views are of the stock standard rice paddies and women with bikes hocking corn on the roadside. But, if on a motorbike, you should be thankful you aren’t in one of the jalopy vans hooning about on tourism business.

 

Pre-planned Ao Vua ‘ecological’ tourism trips kick off when the sun gets up, race out to the resort, then return in time for dinner. What goes on between these road races was anyone’s guess as we pulled out of town and into the bright sunshine on our bikes.

 

We took the drag up along Cau Giay, which is an older route. The road is busy, and gradually narrowing makes for some handlebar wiggling as the buses and minivans jostle for road space. The air is thick with dust and noise and drivers, but it’s worth the effort once you punch out through the city limits.

 

The wide open spaces of green belt farms, where the paddy water chills little zephyrs of wind, spread out toward Son Tay. Just shy of town, and nestled on the bank of an air freshening water reservoir, we stopped for some mia da (sugarcane juice and ice).

 

The neighbourhood kid was less than enthused by the plastic animals we gave him, possibly because he was older than we gave him credit for and would rather have been swimming in the reservoir with his chums than helping mum with the cane. I wore a large plastic tiger – my totem animal - in my helmet band. He was there to protect me, and I can only assume he did.

 

When I first arrived in Vietnam, a sage friend told me that this is an older land than where I come from. There are many things I will not understand, and if I won’t go to the pagoda, then I will be exposed to one certainty. There will be days upon which I will awake, and nothing will go right, so I must stop trying and wait for another day.

 

Of course it takes a while to recognise the signs but he is right. On the day of our trip, I awoke at exactly the time I was supposed to be up, packed and meeting my friends at our rendezvous point. From there on in it got worse, the off balance of Chi amplified over the distance I moved from my awakening point.

 

Mumbo Jumbo you say? I had a plastic tiger strapped to my head and my leather gloved fingers crossed. I got back in one piece, and had a great time to boot. I didn’t make the rules, but like Jeff Lebowski said, “The Dude abides”.

 

Among the shotgun smattering of tourism ‘resorts’ scattered around the foot of Ba Vi, you can find whatever you may be looking for. Well, I was looking for Nguoi Rung Vietnam’s version of the Sasquatch, so ok, maybe not everything.

 

Ao Vua, as they go, has been around for a while.

 

It’s a collection of fairly typical Vietnamese holiday park architecture. Open plan restaurants (most of which didn’t seem to open to us, despite being well staffed and having people eating inside), bridges linking man made islands of concrete betwixt dams on the river.

 

The concrete statues that sprouted from any available patch of land were most amusing, everything from a pack of hungry dinosaurs to some form of topless parade involving an elephant with an anatomically incorrect number of tusks.

 

At first I didn’t get the army of lizard men that stood guard, spears in hand, near the motorcycle park, but when I awoke the next morning, having slept on a bamboo mattress (very comfortable as it was) my skin was marked like the scales of some lizard warrior.

 

I’ve been to a few of these resorts now, and the plan is fairly uniform. Get a whole bunch of concrete, stick some stilt houses in it and a few random statues and you have your tourism complex.

 

But if you want the punters to come, then there’s gotta be something to do, and I think this is where the ‘eco’ point was missed. Ecological Tourism never meant strolling on a well cobbled path in the woods while wearing chinos, a white shirt and aftershave. And I don’t think it included hydro slides.

 

Still, the slides were great. They were fast, with a good couple of bumps in them, and if you hit the second one just right, you could get some really good air. We ended up having races with a few young chaps, but my ‘superior’ weight kept me sliding well in front and they grew tired of it.

 

Actually, what let them down was their lack of understanding of the Ancient Way of the Fast Slider, but then that requires a youth misspent poolside.

 

I had ascended the stairs for my first ride, and was about to plop into the tube, when the good guard of the slides exercised his ‘authoritah’ over me. Flashing his red armband like a cop’s shield, I though he was going to breath test me before sliding.

 

Once he found I spoke English he was happy to block the slides while we had a gasbag, throughout which I was gesticulating downhill, making sliding motions that were overlooked by a guy who doesn’t get to use his language skills much. I imagine like pool attendants worldwide he normally flexes his armband of ‘authoritah’ to pick up chicks.

 

Ao Vua is a really popular destination.

 

Swimming in the eco point.

During the night it’s quiet as a mouse, like we had the whole place to ourselves. But during the day, it’s a carnival, festival and a circus rolled into one. There are people everywhere, and this can be a little irritating if you’re looking for a quiet spot. Simply rise above it. Wandering up the hill, a track runs beside the meandering river.

 

Along its way we found a quiet little rock pool with clean fresh and most importantly cold water. There we lurked, supping the milk from coconuts until evening came and the bugs drove us away from the waters. Of course, but that time, the madding crowd had returned to Hanoi, leaving us alone in the amusement park of ‘ecological’ tourism.

 

A Vua is approximately 80kms from Hanoi. It is an easy ride, or alternative transport can be easily arranged. Check out www.aovua.net.tf for info. 

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